makumaro.net

Bleak

It is just a paper thin borderline between me staying calm and me having destructive tendencies towards objects near me. Sometimes I wonder which is worse, denial so that ignorance is bliss, or awareness but having an inability to proceed. Heh, will just settle for cool, calm exterior now. The less I feel, either positive or negative emotions, the better for everyone and everything around me.

Was at a psychometric testing session this morning. This was for prospective employment, and I was surprised to see the number of people who attended. I’m pretty sure there are at least a few hundred candidates who are vying for a position in the bank I applied for. The session went ok I think, probably did better in the numeric and abstract tests than I did in the verbal comprehension one.

Past all that, it feels really hopeless at times. Finding a job is so much tougher here in Melbourne, especially when you have competition from the locals and every other international student/graduate also looking for the same jobs.

*sigh* Can’t help but feel pessimistic about it. Heh, for someone who has been so dependent on social and financial support from home, I don’t know if life can get anymore depressing than this. The clock is ticking, but events haven’t changed very much for a while now. Patience is especially difficult when you have no idea what you are waiting for and even worse when you don’t know what to do about it.

Only Human

• Listening to: Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back to Me Now

Maybe I want to write about how I feel. Share the enthusiasm that I’ve found tinkering with my camera for the past few months. How I think I’ve improved the sharpness of images out of the box. Still trying to eke out that very last bit of performance from it. You can reason out why things work and why they don’t. However, all is still subjective to perspectives, how you should capture the moment.

Perhaps I want to write about etiquette. What is socially acceptable? I envy people at times, for the things they dare to do, and allowing themselves to do it. It’s either through financial freedom or having a confidence so rock solid it seems impregnable to any kind of intolerance or unacceptance. However, all is still subjective to idealogy, which avenues of life you want to pursue.

Or it could be I’m just lost for words. There is the anxiety that goes with so many unsaid words in thoughts and ideas. I don’t know if it’s just emptiness or a lack of purpose. There is a reason for ego, which is instinctively meant for self preservation. Whether you survive on social acceptance, or just wanting to fufill your personal needs and whims, it’s all the fuel we need for driving us on. However, all is still subjective to personality and character. Life may or may not be about the choices we have and choose to make.

Heh, the above makes sense, in a contorted, wry sort of way.

Food For Thought

Was watching Jamie’s School Dinners on tele last night. Yes, I do watch TV occasionally when I’m at a friend’s place, and not just bumming around in front of a computer screen all day long. Heh…

A little background, this show is how Jamie Oliver takes a look at what British kids eat at home and at school. His findings are less than encouraging and he’s set himself a task to change all that. It’s actually quite appalling that so many kids in London don’t eat nutritious food at home. When asked, the kids painted a greasy menu for their home meals. It was certainly chips with fish or something else. Some kids have lunch boxes packed for them to bring to school. In them there’s a variety of chocolates and other not so full of goodness stuff. Then there’s the school cafeteria’s serving all the processed foods and the kids just lack the intake of fresh vegetables and fruits. Kids there identify more with ‘turkey twisters’, which is 30% turkey meat and 70% don’t know what, than they do with freshly roasted chicken. Some kids are so used to eating their junk that they will not even try fresh foods.

The show went on with Jamie trying to create an awareness with the kids. He blindfolded them and tried to feed them fresh foods. The kids just spitted the food out as soon as it entered their mouths. Heh, he even had a class where he showed vegetables to the kids and asked them to identify the vegetables. Most kids could not tell the difference between an asparagus, a leek and an onion (not like I could when I was in primary school. My knowledge of garden vegetables was only acquired when I started independent living in Melbourne). On the other hand, the kids identified immediately with the brand logos of different fast food chains, ESPECIALLY McDonalds!

Processed foods are just not good for you. They lack fibre, causing kids to have constipation problems and they just lack the nutritional and antioxidant properties the keep you healthy. Recalled a friend telling me about somebody else who snacked a lot on biscuits during her exam period. The person in question was a petite girl who ate little, but had a super high cholesterol level because of the biscuits she ate.

Heh, recall as a kid I’d be fed all sorts of stuff. I wasn’t the garbage collector (basically can acquire taste for any sort of food these days) that I am now. I was picky on certain types of foods and would not eat them, no matter how much coaxing I was given. Kids have less developed taste buds, so they miss out on quite a bit of the good stuff. Was a fan of chicken breast meat because it was just plain meatier and was boneless. The truth is that the best meat comes off the bone, and I’ve come to appreciate that now. Breast meat is just coarse and isn’t as tasty.

Back to Jamie Oliver. I think he’s really cool. First saw him when I switched on the tele years ago and saw this young bloke with his British accent preparing dishes with the ease of flipping your hand. Was hooked on his style and recipes ever since. His last community effort was the restaurant Fifteen, where he and a team of people handpicked some youngsters who had less than bright futures and turned them around to become chefs of this currently famous and thriving restaurant. I heard that he even put his house up for mortgage to fund the series. His ultimate goal is to help people to better themselves, and he does it through his unique way of using food as the driving force. Now he’s hoping to improve the food provided in British schools and has recently taken a petition to the government to do exactly that. The British government seems to have pledged a substantial amount of money and effort into transforming the whole system.

Heh, not bad for one charismatic cook.

* Wow, probably the longest post I’ve ever written.