Contrary to my recent activities, I’m feeling mainly solemn and serious about life around me. Sure my friend’s birthday bash and today’s BBQ in the rain would make more interesting entries, and they definitely have a lighter, more jovial mood to them, but I feel less inclined to talk about those things these days. Been reading other blogs and everyone seems to be reflective of their lives and feel that they want it to be different, to be more meaningful. Heh, why is everyone always chasing something else in their lives and not just being content with what they have? My only answer to that for myself is that I don’t want to be complacent and lose touch of the bigger picture. People become narrow minded and seem to be very assured of themselves and their ideas, to the point where they just disregard anything that disagrees with them. We can fall out of the times, and what was applicable a few years back may be hindering you from making progress in your relationships and interactions with the rest of the world.

I’m happy to live for the here and now, to appreciate the things I have and the people I know, but cannot help myself contemplating about preparing for whatever that will happen in the future. There’s the saying to ,”Cross the bridge when you come to it.” I personally worry about things like whether the bridge is safe to cross or whether it’s worth crossing to the other side, well, metaphorically. I make a lot of assumptions on things I haven’t even experienced yet. There is always the wish for the perfect outcome, but things are always never as they seem.

Recollecting how a friend told me that I haven’t changed one bit when she saw me while I was back home. There was probably a gap of maybe 6 months to that. Another friend I haven’t seen in a year agreed that I haven’t changed as well. Somethings I’m happy to leave things as they are, although lately I’ve been more inclined to put more attention on my physical appearance, due to some advice from a friend (Heh, yes, I have so many nameless friends). It’s weird, I used to claim I was a very carefree person, which reflected in the things I did. Now I don’t stake that claim anymore, yet I feel more nonchalant about things than I ever used to. My thoughts are a constant contradiction but they balance each other out to make sense of why things are the way they are.

Do I think too much? Not really. My mind lingers from all the pop culture I absorb on a daily basis and subconsciously I reflect on these things. It puts things into perspective sometimes, but usually just adds food for thought. Heh, life is only interesting with all the random variables and uncertainty… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.