Life’s been riding a wave of late. Haven’t attempted to move myself against the current. I feel numbed from worldly frustrations. Like the Beatle’s song, Let It Be! Heh, taking Yoda’s advice (sort of), to just stick my mind on the present, and not let it always wander off into the future.

It’s been a hectic few days. Work, work and more work. Furthermore spending extra time entertaining friends. It is a personal choice, drowning yourself with activities, at least it gives you a fresh perspective on things. Just took some time out for the last 12 hours to be myself. Rotating between watching Farscape and Gundam Seed Destiny now. The former is a sci fi recommended by a friend, while the latter (it’s Gundam, an anime, no need to explain what it is, heh) was something I’d hope to only start watching after the series ended, but bowing to peer pressure (they keep talking about it!), I decided to start watching it already and wait religiously each week for the subsequent episode release.

Been doing some reading. Heh, reading is good for the soul. Takes your mind away from things, and it gives you the slightest bit of hope and encouragement. Read some news articles (a bit overdue on the reading, heh) on life in general. Advice on job searching seems less condescending from people you don’t know. At least they’ve had the experience and know what it’s like, probably that’s why it feels as such.

Life is about love, relationships and the whole process of learning these two. Heh, I guess it should be. What’s it about people’s lives flashing before their eyes before they die? It has always been depicted that you’d be thinking about the relationships you had, those people who were most important to you. Love is unselfish, like Forrest Gump was to Jenny, like peas and carrots. He was devoted to her, heh, no matter what manner of silly things she did to herself.

It feels odd, that there are fleeting moments in your life that you sort of grasp the whole idea of existence, like the Unifying theory that would explain all physics which Einstein sought throughout his life. There is no such current theory and life cannot be defined by a bunch of equations, it’s all too random and the conditions too different for each individual to predict possible outcomes. Then there are the times I’d like to echo Fujisawa Hiroki’s (the place promised in our early days) words, where in a metropolis of millions of people, he felt alone in the world as there was no one he wanted to see or meet (well, except for one girl. ).

Life is like that at times, if you spend too much time pondering about it. Heh, just hoping this wave leads me ashore soon.

I feel like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz, needing a potion of courage to do the things I need to do. Heh, it’s a problem I’ve had since I was young, not daring to enquire about things I need to know. I keep thinking I don’t want to trouble people about things, but I really think that is not the attitude to adopt these days. Perhaps like the Lion, I already possess that little speck of courage, but it still feels daunting none the less. People keep saying that no one will bite you, as a form of encouragement to say your mind. It’s a weird mental block in me, something I’d like myself to fix over time.

Just picked up the telephone and made some calls. A little step forward for some things I guess. Right now I’m just feeling blank and nothing coherent seems to pass through my mind. It’s not hard to do these things, it’s just a certain weight over me and the inertia can keep me from doing things over a couple of days. Heh, if I could just treat these things like I were tinkering with my computers or taking pictures, to just experiment and break things until I get it right. Unfortunately, some things I don’t like broken to begin with.