Tis a Friday.

Just not feeling as enthusiastic as I should be.

Suddenly feel like getting away from it all. None of the computer tech updates, not wanting to change and upgrade that trusty PC of mine. Not wanting to play any games or watch any series or anime. Don’t know why, probably because there is a level of interaction involved with all these things that suddenly feels very stifling. I would be inundated with other people’s opinions and thoughts and beliefs. It has never been a problem, but sometimes just looking beyond the obvious, you question if you can really handle all of it. Trying to leap beyond my bounds to be more than that, you cannot see a landing and being foolhardy to try you end up crashing.

What do I want? At times, to be what other people want me to be. I can be satisfied with just that, to fulfill a void. Is that enough sometimes? Although, what I want can clash with other people’s idealogy, so how do I put it forth without offending other people? I really don’t know.

Deep down inside, there is that hint of a crack. It hurts.