Appetite is proportionate to happiness. Probably haven’t been feeling as great in recent weeks. Used to be able to down a kitchen sink and still have room for more. Just easily contented to not be hungry these days.

I wonder at times if I just go with the flow too easily. If people say it’s so, I think it is so. I don’t stamp my authority hardly enough, and will just accept whatever that is tossed to me. I have never had much reason to complain about things, and even things that do annoy me just fizzle away after I get bored of it. Don’t hold grudges, no reason to, find it a waste of energy. It’s how I am, just accepting things as they are. Not a rebel, not a pioneer, just simply me.

Yet, I am troubled by this behaviour. It just seems so wrong, especially when people are vocal about their own beliefs and I’m just meek about most day to day things. The only time I get argumentative is when comparing processing power/bang for buck in computer parts and camera technology. I’d hardly call that important enough to hurl abuse at anyone who’d disagree with me, but it’s something I’m more passionate about. Which leads me to the point that I lack passion in the more important things in life. To do what I believe in, and to have beliefs worth defending.

I also think at times, that I’d rather not receive no for an answer, and the alternative to not hearing no, is to just not hear an answer at all. When there is ambiguity in the answer, you don’t have to face it directly. Again I feel that this is wrong and it troubles me, but sometimes there is no right answer but you need to take a stand. I only wonder at times, but take a sideview to the issue. It’s hard to look at the big picture when you are afraid of thinking and the consequences that come with it.

Heh, I finish this post and am no wiser to where I was before I started it. I can only ponder.