Today is one of those days I’d normally just crack at the stress. It’s due to lack of sleep (hence concentration is decreased) and everything falling under the category of work in progress. At work, there are things I need to prepare for that are going live soon, so there’s a timeframe. Then there’s also stuff that’s broken that I’m sort of the only one who’s been obligated to fix. Then there’s me sometimes trying to be cheerful about things but don’t seem to get the same response from everyone else. The problem with these issues, are that they all depend on someone else to give feedback, or provide a response so it’s very much like a ping pong game, that if you want it to work, you need to serve your ball and wait for it to come back before you can do anything else.

I’d used to get frustrated with things being out of my realm of control. Now I’ve just learnt to be more patient, as the only thing I do have control over is how I feel about things, and if I can’t even control that, it just goes downhill from there. I used to avoid taking responsibility for things I was no good at or knew would get ugly if I even tried to confront it. These days, the idea is more to just bringing a problem and facing it head on. Working in NYC I’ve come to understand that you have to rely on everybody else, even if they don’t live up to your standards of work. You make do with what you can, and plan workarounds so that things can get done. My gripe back then was being impatient, wanting to see instantaneous results. Now I know that as long as you work on it, things will steadily happen, sometimes it’s slower than you prefer but it will still happen.

Pumped with caffeine today, just trying to get through work. Just looking forward to the weekend now, so that I can just relax. Heh, but will probably end up pounding away at this website or just playing WoW. Just so much I want to do and so little time to do it, and I know at the rate I’m going, I will burn out sooner or later. Trying to think of my marathon concept and applying it here, to be slow and steady, but with the twist that I can build up stamina in keeping the flow moving.

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On the more leisurely side of life, got a discount voucher for Les Miserables. It’s a Broadway show that’s been highly recommended and I should be booking a ticket soon as the offer expires in a couple of days. Heh, not one to watch anything on my own, but given the circumstances that I know of no one else I can watch it with and it’s something that’s only available at NYC or London, I think I’ll just skip habit for once and do it.

Was just sitting down to my daily staple of pork/chive dumplings, noodles and green veges. Have the good stuff during lunch at work where there’s plenty of variety and with the limited cooking utensils I have, just limit myself to boiling and light frying. Yeah, during the meal I recollected some info on a blog I read last year about a photography course in NYC. Heh, decided to check that out and I’m in luck, it happens during the fall season and is part of a hobbyist course offered by NYU. At slightly over USD$400 and over 8 sessions, I think I’ll take it up, just to learn a new perspective on taking shots. There really is plenty more opportunity to pursue your interests here in NYC as there is a bigger audience for these things and I don’t know, now I feel more sociable than I’ve ever been before. Yeap, so I want to sign up for that too to keep me occupied during my spare time.

Heh, it’s just that I like to learn new things, especially in stuff I have a keen interest on and no matter how tired I’ll be from work, I’ll still be happy to just egg myself on just to find out something new. Motivation comes from within, although at times, it must be the right kind of motivation (moral topic) that will sustain you through all endeavours, no matter how hard it gets.

I finally gave in and bought some olive oil and pepper. It added flavour to my pasta dinner. Just a little tired of living in such a minimalist state.

NYC is quite a nice place to live in. As long as you can cover your rent, you are set to go. Well, that’s what people tell me anyway. I miss Victoria market and the Asian grocery store in Chinatown. I haven’t really found any equivalent here in NYC at the moment. It’s so vast, you could just be 2 steps from an area in town and never ever set foot in it. I miss cooking, or just eating with friends to talk about nothing remotely important.

I’ve been exposed to a more lavish lifestyle here. Wine and fine dining seems routine as there is plenty of opportunity to meet with investors or the prime brokerage people. I just feel out of place at times, with people talking about their ideas on trading the various exotic derivatives or just normal bonds/stocks. I listen but without any background, you only get a partial idea of what they are talking about.

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I’ve gone back to putting a little attention to this website. Heh, I haven’t changed the design since I started working full time. I always flirted with the idea, but my ideas were dustbin bound after a bit as I was trying to break out of the normal mould that I’ve been doing. Been listening to a lot of classical music lately, so that’s helped with spurring some ideas.

Heh, just feel like an imposter at the moment. Stepping out of character on almost every aspect since I started working here. Trying harder to meet people and engage in conversation. Part of the job also requires interacting with people to get things fixed. Heh, I recall I was always hesitant with picking up the phone and would only use it as a last resort if email was too slow or things weren’t moving. It still is but I don’t idle too long now to do it. Has my job made me more confident? I don’t know, it could just be roleplaying, where you are empowered to ask questions as part of your job function. It is a very different culture here and people are generally outspoken, so it’s probably why I find it easier to speak up. Heh, well I guess Australians are pretty sociable too but it was blending into that background from Malaysia that made me a little more reserved. I’m just using what i’ve learnt in Australia out here and so far it’s been working out well.

Looking forward to the weekend to just escape it all. Learning so much at the moment that eventhough I’m fine absorbing it all, it’s just overwhelming to process it all. Just want to chill out.