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Blur

So this is what my desk looks like. It’s just a partial bit of it, with the set top box for the cable channels sitting on top. American currency still uses plenty of nickles and pennies. In Australia, they got rid of the 1c coins, so I never had any issues using up the 5c ones.

How you view the desk is probably how I am in real life. Very disorganised but I know where exactly all my things are under that pile.

It’s been a strange week, like a violent storm passing through. It’s like I’m under shelter, hearing the commotion outside and worried it might pull the roof sometime, but somehow feel secure enough to know that it won’t happen.

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Finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last night, and while the book on its own wasn’t brilliant, it managed to wrap up the series in a satisfying way for me. Personally liked the first 3 books, finding the Prizoner of Azkaban being the most brilliant of the lot. The last 3 books dragged on a little too long and this last book dispensed with introducing all the strange and wondrous things in the wizardry world of Harry Potter.

Reading it for the first time back in 1999 reminded me of how Enid Blyton’s books used to keep me captivated. as normal, everyday kids get to experience bizarre and incredible adventures. I used to remember reading these books in primary school as our class room had the entire collection of Enid Blyton books and I’d sneak a read sometimes when class got too boring.

Back to Harry Potter, it brought the same captivation as Harry discovered he was a wizard, escaping from his dull Muggle life and you get to experience the first time he hops onto the Hogwarts Express and the different houses, and the all too familiar human emotions that drive us in life. It’s all the wonder and mystery that made Harry Potter such a success.

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Just looking forward to the weekend now, having had no idle time last weekend. Small note on the photo above. It was taken with my Sigma 30mm at f/1.4 and ISO1600. The image is crisp and clean even at those settings. Amazing lens at not too bad a price. Heh.

Sun

Today was a bright and cheerful day, not nearly as spirit damping as the rain yesterday. Conversely, yesterday I felt alive. I recall my first poem was about the rain, when I was still in high school and KL was covered in a haze due to air pollution from fires or something else I can’t recall. The air was heavy that day, and the day seemed to be stuck in an evening glow, until the rain came and washed it all away just after school had ended that day. It was featured in the first highschool newsletter. I remember those years writing poems, when I felt little at peace with who I was, and had trouble deciding who I wanted to be.

I did not step out of the office today, having had so much work to do. There’s always something to fix up or to follow up on. I did not manage to bask in the warmth of the sun. Towards the end of the day I was constantly on edge.

Suddenly I remember my past. Friends I used to be close with, I wonder what they are doing now. I wonder if anyone remembers me, heh, not that I recall making myself very memorable. I used to care very much for people, but somehow the feelings were not reciprocated or maybe I expected too much. I could not just let go and when the friendships faded, I lost all I had in common with old friends I felt like a stranger when we’d meet up again so many years later.

Somehow I do not recognise myself now. What happened to that timid boy who was so afraid of the world changing around him that he tried so hard to make himself independent of it? I don’t know for he has somehow let himself go.

Maybe I want to make myself be heard, to let go of my burdens for a bit, but I have lost my voice that I can only listen now.

Rain

Today it rained and it poured, and the whole day at anytime I gazed out the window, it was just raining. My colleagues and I ordered lunch in. I had some spicy beef noodles, vietnamese style, although I’m pretty sure they went a little heavy on the MSG. Always good to have piping hot soup on a cold day.

It was cold today as I left the office, a little breezy. The umbrella has become my best friend, and probably my best $3 purchase. In Melbourne I never bothered with an umbrella no matter how rainy it was. Unless you carried those massive ones, you might as well not bother as the wind would wreck your umbrella 2 minutes into using it. Plus somehow you never really felt the rain pelt on you, instead you’d just notice yourself get extremely wet after walking for a few minutes.

Heh, going to read Harry Potter now. Weather is too good to pass up for me to just laze in bed reading.