In a semi dreamlike state.

I’ve been doodling images for the past half hour. My textbooks in primary school were filled with robots and fighter planes, all from the influences of watching Transformers and Robotech back then. I recall having a talent for drawing back then, and as I grew older, my imagination just waned, until finally when I entered first year of university, I just stopped drawing entirely.

I guessed it reached a stage when I couldn’t learn anymore and it was so habitual I’d draw the way I did. It’s one of the styles of how I did things, to always perfect one method before trying something new. I’ve been doing that with everything I’ve tried to learn so far, and found it rather stifling.

I wonder if that character had anything to do with how I grew up. There was a limitation in resources back then, so you only spent on what you needed. Heh, so there is a conversative streak in me, never ever letting go and going all the way. I still recall what Ethan Hawke said to his brother, as they both raced across the lake and his brother normally bested him way before they reached the halfway mark. This time it was his brother who couldn’t keep up and had to be helped to the other end of the lake. So his brother was amazed and asked how he could do it, Ethan Hawke’s character just said,”I never saved energy for the swim back.” In short, he just gave it his all to reach his destination, never holding back just in case he felt he couldn’t do it.

I feel like I’ve been pushing against a brick wall for a very long time. The liberating idea is that I’ve finally learnt to walk around it, instead of trying so hard to force my way through it. Yes, eureka!