I do enjoy the cooler weather some days, and don’t mind so much if it’s cold and wet. It gives a freshness to life anyway. Autumn is slowly slipping away and there’s still some green on the trees, which I intend to take advantage off before it all fades away.

* * *

It’s been an interesting two weeks. I finally gave up on the job and handed in my resignation. There are those of the opinion that I should not have left without having secured a new job. That’s the pragmatic approach. There’s also the opinion that I should have worked out what was bothering me. Deep down, the environment and people I had to deal with was slowly sapping my energy. When you lose interest in your work, you aren’t keen to continue with it. Then there’s also the overwhelming opinion that I was brave to make the choice I did. At times you want to justify it, but at this stage, all I want to do is to break free. We tie ourselves to this ‘system’ of life so much that it’s very stifling.

I have learned about human character. I’m not sure if I am a good judge of character, but patience brings out the truth of what people really are. There are two sides to a coin, and I can see the good and bad (from my point of view anyway) of different people. If you stop believing in something, it is time to find out what you believe in and put your energies there.

I have learned that you should always be proud of your work. You should make it your responsibility and find out if it is yours to be responsible for. It’s easy to push the work around, but there are times that you must step up and be held accountable for what you do. I have produced really good work before, and then I have also let myself slide and produced just enough to scrape by. I promise myself that in whatever future endeavours I do, I shall put all the effort that I need to get it done right. This is something that has slowly dawned on me and I am applying it to everything I do now, not just the things I like doing.

I have learned that what I have experienced these past couple of months may pop up again in the future but I am better prepared to deal with it now. Sometimes you need a blank slate to start over and discover who you really are. It is regrettable that things have come to this, but it has given me a great experience on how the world operates. You fall down and you scrape yourself, but you learn to stand up and avoid falling down again.

* * *

I am still busy with whatever’s left at work. I am hoping to secure new work soon, but if I can have a break from it all, I wouldn’t mind it as much either. There will be time to read up on the administrative side of setting up a business, which is ultimately needed for me to properly setup one. Heh, I’m thinking of a shiny new camera, and there’s no better way to procure one than through a business.

* * *

Heh, May always seems to be an ambivalent month for me, always preparing for the unknown (coming back from New York, getting ready to move into a new house, quitting my job). Well, come what may. When we get too comfortable, we forget what it’s like to truly be alive.