Sometimes there’s no light left, so you are left with trying to make soft images with subtle details.

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Need to hit home the idea that I need to just try it, and if I have to fail to get the experience, so be it. I’ve had the time to nudge myself each day and I can see myself closer to getting things done.

The best example I have coming from this week is that I’ve been wanting to make pizza dough for probably the last 3 years. I’ve always put it off because I’ve never been comfortable with handling flour. I always think of the worst possible end results, such as the thing ending in disaster and becoming inedible.

After quitting work, I started breaking down these barriers. Sure I might fail, but what if I succeed? Heh, maybe I didn’t think that far, but I guess it’s ok to fail, then at least you can tell yourself you have tried it, instead of wondering what if? I’ve had many attempts at making pasta, so I felt comfortable enough to tackle pizza dough, which had the element of proofing yeast.

So I picked a date and decided to do it. It was quite successful, and discussing it with Vyanne I gained a little more insight on baking.

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Growing up, it was sort of ingrained in me to fear failure. Maybe it’s a Chinese thing, being practical and all, but I don’t want fear and being risk averse to grip the rest of my life. I know a little bit of stuff here and there, but have never dared to put myself out there to be judged and criticized because of being fearful that I may fail. Heh, it’s not even 100% guaranteed but even 1% is enough for me to shy away from things. That is why we end up being mediocre.

The pizza analogy is just saying that you gain success in tiny steps. Trying out making pasta gave me confidence to test out making pizza dough (it’s probably not as hard as it sounds, but we give ourselves mental blocks anytime we get the excuse to do so).

I’m taking tiny steps now towards setting up my business plan. I am still afraid I might fail, but at least now I’ve added the scenario that it might work out after all.